Currently (as of 2020), my main games are Warframe (looter-shooter) and FFXIV (mmorpg).





I used to play Warcraft.

I started as a Nelf Druid, but after about six months dropped all my mates and switched over to Horde cause I realised I liked the Horde better. Totally immersed walking into Orgrimmar for the first time, felt kinda like home in regards to the game world.

My fav classes / specs were Guardian Druid, Feral Druid, Elemental Shaman, and Mistweaver Monk. I could play all the specs in the game to a basic level.

I had two accounts (EU and US/AUS), and levelled all classes on Horde to max level on both accounts when they were active. So 24 max levels, but I did not keep up with my US account after switching totally to EU. I also kept open a few alliance toons, incase required, but they were not kept up to date.

My favourites races on horde are everything really. I have a deepset dislike for belf females, because I feel there is this ‘push’ embedded in the playerbase that females should play them. I hate being told what to do, so I avoid them. Also, I somewhat prefer to play male toons overall, though I tried to balance the ratio 50/50 for male and female. My total favourite race is Male Undead. Best dance in the game, can’t beat. I fucking love undead.

My other preferred races on horde are Troll, Goblin and Tauren. My favourites on the alliance are Worgen, Draenai, and Gnome. Though I have a special place for dwarf female and orc female cause they are thicc.

I loved gold farming and it’s community, I thoroughly enjoyed delving into the music scene that was still ongoing in the player side of the game (though peaked in cataclysm), and I was starting to get into PvP before quitting the game. I loved flag carrying as a Highmountain Tauren (one extra speed boost for that race, similar to Worgen).

I no longer play the game.

Some images of my history in World of Warcraft

I was lax when considering putting my account under erasure, with the huge surge of people whom did this due to any of these reasons; the Diablo Immortal fiasco, the tax evasion scandals, the Blizzard’s political statements for black rights and gay rights but banning anyone else who does it (even firing anyone else who was inconveniently involved), the kicking out of all the founder employees who had been there to create the original products over recent years, alongside in their highest earning fiscal quarter firing 800 employees right before coronavirus, Warcraft III reforged fiasco, etc. I am happily anticipating the launch of Dreamhaven to see if it has anything of the remnants of the original Blizzard in it. A good overall video on prior-fan opinion might be this one.

In the latter parts of 2020, after a brief look back into the game before Shadowlands to see whether this game actually had anything of value. I used my gold on both my EU and US account to gain access to the game for a month, to see whether it would be worth returning.

I found myself being incredibly frustrated by the lack of utilisation the game had in comparison to Final Fantasy 14 (FFXIV), which I had picked up in more recent years. Basic features like being able to mouseover and keybind hotbars, finally added into Warcraft in 2020 which looked to me to have been in Final Fantasy as stable features since it’s inception. Final Fantasy’s allowing of total GUI customization in the base game, the better spell affects, the ability to have all classes on one character that you can switch into at a button click, being able to have all professions on one class, etc. Going back to missing these features in a base mmo somewhat horrified me due to how much extra effort was required to just get to actually enjoy the game. The mere thought I would have to gear multiple characters to properly play end-game irked me. Of course in Final Fantasy you also have stat utility for classes, but being able to roll for alt-class gear on your main class is a far better option than having to bring a totally different undergeared character to gear it up to a medicore level and slow down the raid.

Looking at and going through all the addons which are incompatible with the game half the time and throw errors upon login and randomly when doing content. Alongside these addons not updating as players and independent designers obviously rotate in and out of the game, and stop maintaining their products they make for free. Final Fantasy seemed to have built most of their features into the game because they know that they are required for advanced play and player agency. Blizzard seems to just rely on players and takes decades to actually utilise what the players have made which is awful. Good for the entrepreneurial small creators, but surely for a corporate it would be better to pay the creators a small amount and take what they built and put it into the main game. It just always actually makes me internally mock the company for their lack of utilisation of resources at their disposal everytime I have to leave the game to download something to make the game actually function to a normal level. I am not referring to specialty addons. I am talking about things like MoveAnything, Bagnon or TomTom. Final Fantasy is not perfect, but in my opinion it is far more advanced in terms of customisation, and what “you can do with the base game” to customise and set it to your preferences.

When I went back to the game for the month, when a quest bugged out on its marker in Warcraft (no problems, it happens), I looked up on wowhead how to get to the NPC and the comment section gave useful coordinates. Then I internally raged that Blizzard hadn’t bothered to put in coordinates properly yet on their maps, and I would have had to download an addon to use the coordinates… it just blew my mind how lacking that Warcraft is in so many ways without the support of the players. Which are of course, leaving in droves and have been since Cataclysm. Most players now being like Diablo players, in that they play for a few months then leave till the next expansion or content drop to play for a month then leave again.

I totally understand the desire for Classic though, and have no issue with the old fanbase and content. It is ‘the modern version’ that is claimed to have evolved from Classic and has not in many ways that it should have to still be competitive within the modern market. Similar to never making the beginning bag in the game more than 12 slots, citing it was ‘too hard’, and then randomly deciding it was easy after 10 years of being asked. Though you had to give them your phone number to get the extra space which privacy experts actually say makes your account easier to hack in the end. Blizzard cites sometimes that things are hard, when it is more just lack of motivation to do x than y. Store mount verses player utility, and I just felt the company was making business decisions that actually over time have ultimately made the actual core product less competitive than others on the market. Which is their prerogative, but for me I considered it was not a wise business incentive in terms of who I give money to.

From what I know of the raiding scene in Final Fantasy, it is completely competitive with Warcraft, alongside any storyline written by Square-Enix (known for Life is Strange, all the Final Fantasy series, etc) is always like yourself being in a blockbuster movie. So in terms of most of the things people play an mmo for, FF was just staunchly superior in my opinion in terms of which one I would choose to play for ‘the game’ itself.

I had heard that WoW took a lot from other games, including Final Fantasy, for example mimicking the entire monk class playstyle during the Legion expansion. I wasn’t impressed to see that the never ending dungeon would be making an appearance in Warcraft as well. As I had already played quite a lot of it in Final Fantasy so had a strong familiarity. I like… creators, it felt weird to me for people to be proclaiming Blizzard for their awesomeness and originality when I was starting to become personally impacted by the company’s lack of originality. To lack the creative core of the business just turned off my more developed entrepreneurial personality. I love to see the wild and cool things people make, I felt this would not be able to be seen anymore in Blizzard.

Especially after their last few years, they would no longer be attracting the greatest talents in the industry going forward due to job instability and the amount of bad publicity Blizzard got in the public forum. It hit national headlines across the US, with even congress writing to Blizzard to revoke the Hearthstone players ban and side with democracy over Chinese-interests. Both sides of the political spectrum signed the letter to Blizzard in an odd showing of unity against a corporate seeming to side with an ‘enemy’. Any perspective game designer is not going to be telling their friends and family that they work for this company, as non-gamers will likely associate the company with non-American values.

Due to my disillusionment when returning to the game, and my still severe dislike for Blizzard Activision itself. Prior only mentioning Blizzard’s issues, and not delving into Activision’s numerous issues as well. I decided to put my account under erasure with Blizzard so I would not support the company in the future and be drawn back into the game by either myself or the allure of others.




Mary King’s Riding Star

Jazz Jackrabbit


Age of Empires [I, I Expansion, II, II Expansion]

Mini-Games / Demo CDs



I used to play a lot of Sega, then later Nintendo 64 as a kid. Those two consoles contain my strongest gaming memories. Due to this I tend to prefer platformers as that was what I learnt to play ‘well’ first, at least to figure out.

These are some Yoshi socks too.

For Sega Genesis / Sega Mega-Drive and later Sega CD. I went through the collection of old Sega games that my brother kept for nostalgia. Quite a few he sold over the last decade. Out of the ones he kept, the ones above were the strongest memories. Some games I loved were:

Sonic the Hedgehog / Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine

I would see a huge majority of my Sega time was spent playing Sonic. We had a variety of the Games… I think, I, II and III, alongside Mean Bean Machine (columns).

We used to play Mean Bean Machine with our cousins whilst on holidays so I remember it the best out of all Sega games I have played.

Altered Beast

I remember this game really well. Even up to the point where flicking through the video at about 4 minutes, I remember that damn noise the dragons made. If memory serves, we finally defeated the Bear level after ages (be aware, we were like 7 (me) and 5 (my brother) years old around this time), and got up to the start of the Tiger level but I think I must have stopped playing then because my memory discontinues. I don’t have memory of being a yellow tiger unfortunately PepeHands, nor the last boss level.

Ecco the Dolphin

I put so much time into this damn game. Lol. Trying to defeat this platformer was actually super intense. I would class it as the ‘hardest of all the games I played’. Like this guy talking about the difficultly. This level he is on took me ages, with the Octopus, and I remember getting the dolphin friend.

I believe I got up to the marble level here, but there was multiple games, so I did play the beginning of a few of them.


I used to play a lot of Columns. The actual slot had a few games on it in one, so it was not the only game in the set we used to play, because Golden Axe was on there which my brother and I got into more later on.

I played some Shinobi, but I just remember my brother preferring to play with my mum :/. Man I just got so much nostalgia looking at that video. I remember that damn doorway with such powerful emotions, I must have died so much on that level and saw that doorway as a kid.

Golden Axe

Pretty sure, in this I used to play the Dwarf. Dunno why but I super remember him with some fondness. So either I used to play him a ton and liked it, or my brother did and I was jealous about it, lol. I roughly remember the former. I think it was cause his axe hit things hard. Looking at the video, it made me remember that it actually took us ages to work out we could get on mounts.

Lion King

I remember playing this pretty well actually.There was this level, that you had to crawl through the spikes, and it was like dark.It is the part in the movie, before the “he lives in you part” where he is bounding through the spikes, Simba. That level, was amazeballs, it was really hard and I liked it :). There are lots of parts I actually remember to be fair. Flicking through the video I remember all of it. Not quite sure how close I was to defeating it, it seems 2 levels because I don’t remember the last two, but remember all the ones prior in those 3 videos.

Mr. Nuts

Lmao, this game was pretty swag. Tbh, I think i wasn’t phased by Conkers because I had played this a lot.


I remember parts of the levels, just barely.

Mortal Kombat

This was the main game I played on Sega CD. I like Raiden, Scorpion and Sonya.

Nintendo 64

I also followed pokemon on and off over the years.

Super Smash Brothers

I played as Kirby, cause Kirby never dies. You could smash me off, as long as it wasnt a KO I could magic-puff myself with skill all the way back and get that cheer noise like a god. Lmao. I loved to rock down on peoples faces :3.

I also played as Pikachi, cause that zippy dart thing always the saving grace. Lmao. But his little bolts move along the ground like the jumping bolts, was why I preferred Kirby, as my no 1.

Later I also didn’t mind Shiek I think.

Mario Kart

I remember this was my game. I did love it. I used to play as Yoshi :D, cause he was dinosaur, ofc. Or Toad. Cause Toad is small, and I’m small and I think he’s cool. But I traded it with my brother for the game below, lmao.

Yoshi’s Story

I used to LOVE getting the shy guys. Lmao. And making ’em be my friends. The black one was my favourite. I used to get so excited when I found one. I loved the sniffing. I still sometimes think of yoshi stiffing when I smell stuff or hear the word smell or sniff. Like, i do the “woo woo” in my head like when i have found a smell. Lmao.

Mario Party

We used to play this when friends came over :). I used to play as Toad. I liked toad, he was small :), and I’m small XD.

Pokemon Snap

This game, was amazeballs. I just remember this scene, where you’re going along in the water, and were taking pictures near a waterfall, and there was a cave you went through. Lmao. Was many kawaii.

Pokemon Stadium

Cause ofc, I had an avid pokemon collection and stuff, so I loved this game. Putting my pokemon in and playing XD.

Gameboy / 3DS

I played Pokemon Blue / Silver, I was the first generation in primary school when it came out. I remember running around at about 7 or 8 years old at school trading with people in ‘out of bounds areas’ being naughty with pokemon at school. I had a  Pokemon Card collection and played games like Stadium and Snap on N64. Very immersed in the games at the time. After Silver I stopped playing it for a while, then in my early 20s I re-picked up the series, buying a 3DS secondhand and playing Y, Omega Ruby, Black 2 and then later purchasing Moon.


When playing I mostly played with fire, dark, electric, dragon, and flying pokemon.

I tend to like big pokemon, I adored Nidoking and Rhydon. I like a lot of dragon pokemon, like Salamence, Hydreigon, and Noivern. I adored all the horse pokemon, like Rapidash, Zebstrika and Mudsdale. I tend to like snake pokemon like Seviper, and the spider pokemon like Joltik and Spinarak. I find I tend to like middle evolutions the best sometimes, like Charmeleon and Pidgeotto. My favourite water pokemon is Dewgong and I used to swim around in the pool pretending to be one. Cause I can be dopey and do things to make people laugh sometimes, so internally the seal clapping thing I found appealing to imagine to be. My favourite electric pokemon are Jolteon, and Luxray. My favourite flying is Braviary. Special mentions for: Diglet, Houndoom, Sandslash, Cubone, Aggron, and Axew.


After purchasing Moon and playing so little of it, I decided that I would not be continuing with the series. The recent escapades with Nintendo over pricing to do with storing your pokemon, scratching pokemon and lieing to fans, and the ability to use competition services like TemTem in the same genre. Watching quite a few videos on the subject I realised that it was possible that Pokemon itself was something that my interest was no longer in. Whilst I always like the new pokemon, the actual gameplay wasn’t engaging enough for me anymore to be enjoyable. For something I would have to have a yearly subscription for the rest of my life to say I was a fan, and for what the game was, it made me actually consider whether it gave me enough of a ‘subscription’ benefit. My pokebank had a huge mass of pokemon in it, I was in a position where I would have had to pay that sub cost if I was to keep up playing the franchise. It wasn’t the actual cost, it was to whether I actually liked the franchise enough to care whether all my pokemon I had ever caught were erased. It made me actually think of that, and once I had thought of it, I could not unthink of the pros and cons.


Sonic Adventure

Arcade Games


Time Crisis


Pong-like Game


This section is being re-edited.

So most of my “gaming life” occured around the age of 6-10. Where I played A LOT of sega and nintendo 64 with my younger brother and mother. I remember quite a few fond memories of “blowing the cartridge” and etc. We had a huge collection of games by the time I got to high school and we loved those consoles immensely. When I was in primary school, I used to sneak into out of bounds areas to play pokemon with people I liked Gameboy so much :P. Something happened around the time I got to high school though.

My brother had expressed to me that he had superseded me in skill and that he didn’t want to play with me anymore. At the time I was like /cry, lol. He didn’t mean it seriously, he was just wanting me to leave the controller so my mum could play with him. I felt a bit left out because he said she was better I guess, lol. It was years later that I stopped entirely but around this time I started to decline in interest. I don’t like to be bad at things and I think a lot of it was that I was changing too. Gaming like anything else in life involves you putting investment into it. When I encountered high school, and I got heavily into writing and sunk my time into this instead. I might have stayed with games but I found other things to do. Met a whole lot of new friends, got a bf a few years in, then a huge multifaceted social circle by the time I was about 15-16, etc. Slowly phasing out gaming after a few years of High School totally. Be aware in Australia, we have only 2 schools, Primary and Secondary like the British model. Unlike the American/Chinese model which uses 3 separate schools.

There are a few examples in culture as I found I was not the only woman to do this. People have looked into why western women stopped gaming in the 90s, and some of it was more to do with advertising. You can watch a few videos on it here and here :).

The last game I purchased around that age was Age of Empires. I fucking loved Age of Empires II, was much fun. My brother and I split our savings and bought the pack together of Age of Empires I, I’s Expansion, Age of Empires II, and II’s Expansion. II the blue disk was the best.

Besides Gamecube; when gamecube came out, we got it, staying true to the nintendo hype. I really loved sonic, cause omfg :3 I love shadow. Still to this day if you put a picture of shadow in front of me i will swoon :D. Black n red hype XD. I would fucking skateboard, well… its not really skateboarding, but I would “board” on Shadow for hours on GameCube, and level up my little pets in the fucking different rooms. Fuck that game was epic. I lost all respect for sonic games that did not include Shadow in them XD, rofl, except for Doctor Robotnik’s Bean Machine. Until that game, didn’t even realise the franchise had any other characters in them besides sonic and tails because the original Sega games didn’t include them. I did enjoy knuckles and rouge as well, but… eh… Shadow was my boy XD.

I didn’t mind rouge because she had the same name as rogue from xmen. And xmen is about the only comic series I really know indepthly… hmmm… there was a phat book in my library that me and a mate would read up and I would learn all their different abilities. Of course we had a video or two of old school xmen cartoons as well. Later watching it on Foxtel (cable TV in Aus) after my parents got divorced every now and again. Specifically I recall we had the episode with jubilee and gambit. Gambit saying “pretty” is one of the sexiest male things XD, majorly because he made the word a Title I guess, like it was a name rather than an descriptive term. Which made me swoon, of course, the fact that he had magic cards and a long jacket was the reason I liked him mostly. I have actually grown to like the character of rouge more in my adulthood, because of the fact that her abilities and backstory revolves around her with men. Whereas, say in my teens, I enjoyed a lot of adult swim, and I enjoyed nightcrawler probably the most 🙂 < he baller. The episode I’m referring to that I had on video is here.

So… also… Arcade games. Time Zone, is an arcade gaming franchise in Australia, and there used to be one at our local shopping centre when I was at high school. I must have been about 14, because one of the “crew” out of the four of us, ended up moving not long after this. But yeah. So, there was a group of four of us, two guys, two girls. And we used to chill. There was more of the group, but we were the close knit four. So, our local gaming arcade, Time Zone, had this special on in the holidays when we were young. From 6am – 12am, it was a flat rate of like $10 or something, to all the games you wanted in the arcade, for six hours straight. It was fucking awesome. And we would do it XD. Rofl, one of the boys lived pretty close to the shops. And the other girl lived close too. So we would all stay at each others houses, and rock up at 6am to play. My memory is feint on most games besides the fucking hit the crocodile game that I liked, and the basketball game that my female mate was epic at, we both did basketball as our sport in school too. She did it as an out of school sport too though. But besides that, and of course the racing car games. Time Crisis, was our game of purpose XD. Rofl. There was another game too, I remember. Like Time Crisis but we shot the walking dead instead. I always wanted the big-ass red shotgun. I loved it heaps. They would get blue pistols, and I’d zip in and get the big-ass shotgun and be happy as fuck XD. Rofl. Was the first, and probably the only shooter I have ever played really. But i loved it.

A mate did try and explain Halo to me years later at a party, but, I didnt really get the aim. As I didnt really know the difference between an fps and an adventure game. I was trying to just “go up in levels”, but in halo you just walk around, and im thinking to myself like > “dude… where the checkpoint to the next level yo?” Thinking I was failing to get out of the starting area and feeling like a moron not being able to clear the level XD. Rofl rofl, to gave back the controller and went back to whatever I was doing XD.

I am a PC kinda girl though, consoles are okay, but I upkeep my computer already, giving it an extra boost ads to my quality of life stuff outside of gaming as well. Whereas a console has only gaming restrictions < besides of course as a dvd player or an internet use. But yeah, I just cant sit and write a 30,000 word story on it for lols in front of a tv and call that the same quality of life you know ;). Unless you rock out a nintendo, then I’m all up in that shit XD :P.

See, whilst my brother later decided he would buy every console ever made. So there was playstations and xboxes laying around, I never really loved them the same way as the nintendo franchise. So these days, playstation and xbox proliferate the market, and gamecube tanked right? Was the last I heard. And so, I don’t have any loyalty to those two brands. *googles*, oh… rite… the “wii” < who the fuck calls a console that? The wii? No… just no… :). Wee = pee O.o, which may be fine, I get its meant to represent the “i” in gaming. Like “I” like this console. But no… I just never got into their marketing strategy. Not that there is any problem with it, in terms of, I have a mate who plays wii fit stuff on it, and I think thats baller. But, its not really centered around ‘gaming’ itself, its centered around things like wii fit and tennis and stuff :P. But I was out of gaming by then anyway. Into boys n shit and writing.

Fond Memories
  • Worms cute mofo slogans when shot [Worms].
  • Collecting my little Chao’ and playing with them in their Heaven/Hell/Earth zones 🙂 [Sonic Adventure].
  • Brushing my horse in Riding Star, and watching how the hair was brushed off and had a different colour underneath to show you had brushed it XD [Mary King’s Riding Star].
  • My brother having Diablo, and it taking up HALF our 3GB computer XD.
  • Laying on the floor playing with a computer thats colour was black and green on the screen, and had larger square floppy disks.
  • Collecting colours of floppy disks.
  • Having a multiple colour keyed old school grey keyboard.
  • Buying my first stick of 512mb RAM in Parramatta and crossing the road with my uncle and brother after buying it and being happy :).
  • Swinging on my chair writing stories for like 6 hours everyday after school for years.
  • Fucking LOVING shadow [Sonic Adventure].
  • Being impressed over the 3D graphics [Pokemon Y].
  • Having an extra expansion pack you had to put into the back of your controller to play [Pokemon Stadium].
  • Being good at Mario Kart and then trading my brother for Yoshi’s Story, because I really liked that there was black Shy Guys. Black being my favourite colour along with red [Yoshi’s Story & Mario Kart].
  • Having people over to our house, and often playing Smash Bros. I remember being epic at Kirby and Pikachu. Kirby #neverdie. That breathe mouth stuff = forever awesome. Someone kicked me far away? I just forever managed to get back with air. So awesome. Pikachu the same kinda, with its zip movement 😀 [Smash Bros].
  • Getting a Sega Mega-Drive, getting it installed on the side of the Sega. Having it look baller. Getting a few games with it. One was Mortal Kombat, which was awesome for me and my brother. The other two games i remember, i think was a snowboarding game that wasn’t really our taste. We preferred fighting games and adventure games rather than sports games. And then there was this other game. I don’t remember what it was called. But it had a lot of doors in a lot of rooms. And it was too scary. Rofl. I just remember that. We tried playing it once or twice. And it scared the shit out of us. It was a “jump out at you game” rofl. So we ended up playing a fuckload of mortal kombat instead. KO-motherfuckers.
  • Ecco the Dolphin = epic af.
  • Shinobi = mum loved this game, rofl.
  • Altered Beast =  worgen, nice. Werewolf love ;).
  • Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine = best game ever mofos. Like seriously, up until the age of about 16 I was playing this at our grandparents holiday house. It was an epic game. Its tetris, but sonic-style. With blobs n shit, kawaii af.
  • Pokemon Blue & Pokemon Silver = I remember sneaking into an out of bounds area to trade and play pokemon with friends at primary school. The pokemon series really changed and affected my childhood a lot. I really really loved the games.
    • A list of some of my favourite pokemon from the two series were Rapidash, Pidgeotto [yea the second evolution, I believe it had longer hair or etc], Nidoking, Ninetales, Arcanine, Dewgong, Gyarados, Rhydon, Ditto, Jolteon, Houndoom and Charmeleon [he was darker red, and looked punk af. I even remember where I was when my charmander first evolved. I was all :-O. I was at my cousins house, standing in my cousins room and being all :3]. Other notable ones were Haunter, Cubone, Sandshrew, Scyther, Dragonite, Aerodactyl, Flaaffy, Noctowl, Entei, Raikou.
    • My favourite pokemon of all time is Umbreon. I have a little one in my room. I never got it in Silver, but of course have it now :).
    • Favourite types are; Fire, Dark, Flying, Ground and Electric.
    • Good memories: pretending to be dewgong and gyradose in my pool XD. Also ofc, doing kamehameha’s in my pool. I was of that generation of kids who would get up before school and watch dbz :). I didn’t get past the cell saga though. My brother powered through to buu. I never watched dragonball, but I saw pretty much all of dbz, the time I was really into it was in the Trunks/Gohan era. But I seriously formed a devotion to it around the time of Piccolo training Gohan < both of whom are my favourite characters to this day. Also vegeta < he = asswhole + v at the top of our hair line = like me XD.

Favourite Kind of Games

So I was watching a stream the other day (years ago)  and this conversation came up. I stumbled to find an appropriate answer and just explained why I didn’t really have an answer instead. Just so inefficient of me. I thought to write it here incase anyone else was wondering :).


So in the world so far, I’ve found generally there is two types of school systems. University / College / Technical College is excluded from this example, as that is not traditional schooling and optional. This conversation is about required school. So there are two systems; some countries use two base secondary schools, and some countries use three. China and America use three, a Elementary (5-11), Middle / Junior High (12-15), and then Senior High School (16-18). Whereas countries like Australia and Britain use a Primary (5-11) and Secondary (12-18) school system. Those ages are approximate, as each person is slightly different. So I was surprised when I went to China and one of my students was pointing her school out to me and trying to relate to me it was “middle school”, I had only a rough idea what that was and pestered her with questions about it :P. Japan also uses this system and its always intriguing to fumble around that conversation with an ESL speaker :).

Personally I prefer the Australian system because obviously I’m used to that, but also, I had a bunch of friends outside of school. Adding an extra layer of friends from another school on top of that would have been crazy… primary school, high school, work friends, city friends… adding in another one would be insane, but I also see the benefits of starting fresh after 16 with a new lot of people.

So why I described the above was to explain the following; when i was in Primary school, I gamed ‘a lot’. My brother and I had a sega, then sega-megadrive (we got the disc thing on the side like gangsters :3 lol). We had mortal kombat in disc, and it also came with some scary game that freaked us both out and made us cry, lol. All i remember was it had lots of doors, and was too scary, lol.

We had a huge collection of Sega games over the years, I had some super fond memories of a lot of them. My brother still owns a lot in the collection and hasn’t sold them (though some he has). I was looking back through the collection after I had rejoined gaming and was housesitting at my mums. Only took pictures of the ones I remembered, some of course my brother only played, or as its been a long time, I don’t really remember. Unfortunately The Lion King game is gone, I still remember crawling through some stuff in the level. Great memories of that game, so much frustration, I loved it. Later we had rows and rows of Nintendo games… a lot also of course sold by now also. My brother kept his favourites 🙂 and sold some of the ones he thought he would never “replay” I’d suppose.

So, why was the school part relevant you ask. Well… I was a few years older than my brother (2.5 or something, 3 years by number) so I went to High School (secondary school) about the age of 11-12. Whilst he was still at Primary school, and continued on the same way he had been. Whilst I had to make entirely new friends, as our house was on the border of the cut off point for two Public high schools. Actually, I had 5 good female friends at primary school, and all of us ended up at different High Schools funnily enough. The friend I kept in touch with for another 10-15 years ended up at the opposite public school, and the other three went to scattered private schools over the larger general area. Was an interesting development. Specifically though, most of the people in my grade at primary school went to my other close friend’s High School as that was the traditionally linked school by geography. I on the other hand, with the new house we had moved to, was on the border of the “richer suburb” so was given that as my public school of enrolment. There was only about 6 kids in the entire year that had come from my primary school. Was interesting how it worked out. I wasn’t too concerned, as I meet friends easily. To be really totally fair, I was excited.

We went to their open day, and I saw a bunch of year 10 (16 year old) goths walking around and nearly creamed my pants and demanded my mum let me go there with the cool kids so… lol. The library at the public school was massive in comparison to the one at the private school open day, and I wanted to go to the school with more books. Interestingly, I did end up spending a ton of time in that library over the years. Either hanging on the stairs below it or inside it. My mum will recount that I was just overall impressed with lots of things. I did inevitably enjoy the school a lot. Had my ups and downs with some teachers, and my own personal life, but I am glad I went to the school. For my first 4 years we had a principle that was “unique” and did things differently than most others in Australia I believe and that worked much better for me. In the latter two years we got a different principle who made the school more traditional, as the former retired I gather. Which I didn’t like as much. But so at the time, the school was wonderful for me.

Why does this have anything to do with gaming? Imagine… young girl. New set of friends. Puberty. Etc.

Whilst you can argue I was pretty a-sexual growing up. I remember sitting with a bunch of girls (whom I didnt usually hang with), at like 10 years old and they asked me “what guy I liked”. I roughly remember the severe shock I felt, and trying to make up any dudes name to fit in. As an example, I didn’t really have a “guy I liked”. I didn’t think of guys that way, they were my friends whom I played football with and stuff. That general theme continued on till I was about 14. I always had a co-ed group of friends. Mixed sexes. Even now, mostly, I don’t notice guys “in that way”. I just dont care. Unless of course he sets off my, “bang alert”. Which is less to do with actually liking someone, and more to do with realising that person doesn’t need anything but a slight push and we would be fucking in an alleyway. As an example, I once had sex with an International student at my university at night in the bathrooms. No words, just an understanding we would be fucking. Just walked from the computer labs into the girls bathrooms :shrugs:. It’s not something a lot of people understand… and its difficult for me to relate when someone says they struggle to find someone to have sex with and etc… as I have trouble “avoiding it”. I’m the total opposite, but yea… I can emphasise because I have trouble with relationships, in the same way other people may have trouble getting laid. But that kind of thing happens to me sometimes, I dont really have a word for it, bang alert is a good enough approximation phrase I guess though.

So when I got to 14, and even though I’d had what could only be described as “fake bfs” before. Lol. Like when a guy asks you out as a girl, and you say yes to be nice or cause they are your mate, but nothing changes really. They are your “bf”. I dunno, I had a bf who used to flick elastic bands into lights in the library. A bf that ended up gay (he was fucking awesome btw), etc. I think I kissed the elastic bands guy, I dont think I did that with the gay one… etc. Either way, you get what I mean. They were my bfs, and I count them as such, but yea, I mean someone whom you were with for a long time and whom you had developmental experiences with, in the difference between my former and this partner I’m going to talk about.

At 14, I had a bf for two years. Lost virginity, etc. But so, whilst I had friends who gamed somewhat, and could have gone down that path. Brother who still gamed, etc. I didn’t. I went down the, “boys” path. After pubity. And then later into goths, then after school drugs, more boys, then moving around “a lot” [from 8 onwards is pretty much me moving around myself, jumping between share houses] and meeting all different kinds of peoples. I moved hours away from my home, jumped different kinds of jobs, made my own websites and worked 14 hours a day on them doing things for people.

I tried to cut out everyone I knew from my life before, semi-research on myself / semi-preparing everyone for me moving overseas (that I had decided at some point I was going to do). I didn’t want to settle down quite yet. I didn’t really trust guys, and I didn’t want to have to force some poor cunt to move overseas with me when that wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t want to risk being forced to stay in my own country for “love”, when I knew I should move and do what I wanted. Didn’t really care where I went… just wanted… somewhere. Australia is a fine place, its like everywhere else I travel to, its like China, like the UK, like Germany. Walking around in Manchester, UK, felt exactly like walking around in Western Sydney. Same international stores, same vibe, just different accents, :shrugs:. My point is, I was just “trying things”, whilst I couldn’t leave. I didn’t feel my family would handle me leaving at that time. But when I was about to turn 30, I immediately flew the coop. Figured I was old enough now that they couldn’t bank on claiming they “needed me” or that I wasn’t ready to make a choice, etc. So moved to China teaching English, then later to Germany where I now reside.

The point with gaming here, was that during this time. from 11-14, was when I started to “wean” myself off gaming. Some of the points described in this video, I feel are relevant here. I did kind of ‘feel that’, and it is approximately that time I stopped gaming also, so I fit into the category. Ie, if you watch it, when he talks about marketing changes in the Western gaming industry. I was a part of that generation, and I remember those conkers bad fur day ads (my brother had the game) and etc. For a similarly historical video, if you want to watch this video, which is a great historical rendering. I think she cites the first ever Western girls horse game on PC, which i had. I am so proud :), i remember brushing my pony, and doing the show jumps, lol. [I fucking hated dressage, lol, I also suck at it irl and was good at jumping, hehehehe]. But yea, I had quite a few computer games at the time. We had a ‘family electrician friend’ if you want to use that term. Who gave us some mini-game PC disks, with some cool games on it.

My uncle used to be employed in the IT field, so I have fond memories of being like 8 years old and walking around in Parramatta (local big suburb) and standing at an intersection with my uncle, dad and brother after buying us kids ‘our first stick of RAM each’ together :). I grew up with basic computer understanding. I could take my computer apart and clean it in my teens no issue. Our first PC was black screen with green writing, and huge big square floppy discs. We got a lot of benefits because my uncle knew about computers (uncle is my dads non-identical twin, whom never married), so he would help us build computers and help take care of them. I grew up typing stories on my PC for hours after school. Never trusted floppy disks after I lost one of my first stories cause the disk corrupted. I was so fucking upset, still remember what it looked like, lol. I remember had a pale rainbow keyboard then :3. We used to go to my uncles house sometimes and play Duke Nukem and such. We had Jazzy Jack Rabbit (fucking watching a bit of that gave me intense nostalgia). But anyway, so I had a very gaming filled childhood. My mother even used to join in and loved Shinobi on sega. To be totally fair, I feel my mum was a good push for us with gaming. She never really stood in the way and I feel she was supportive of it. Lol, she never forgets Sinobi but, and is always hesitant to play a game herself now and says, “you remember how addicted I was to shinobi”. Hehehe, I think she must have stayed up late too many times before work the next day XD. Pretty funny.

But yea so, when I got to High School, i diverged from gaming quite a bit. World of Warcraft came out when I was about 16, and whilst I know my brother picked it up not long after that (whilst I was still living at home, so at some point over the next two years), I was drinking with my friends, and working 3(+) days a week (after school and weekends) by then and I had long separated myself.

Funny story, it was actually pokemon that got me back into gaming. I decided to go back and buy some of the games I had “missed”. Bought a second hand 3DS off gumtree, and bought pokemon Black 2 (so I technically missed.. 2 or 3 generations I think, as I stopped at Silver. I had silver and blue, and brother had red, gold and yellow). So, played one or two pokemon games and then around that time I happened to be hanging out with a group of people who played Warcraft. A housemate whom I had been friends with at school, had a younger brother, whom also lived with us. I started hanging out with this brother, and his social circle for a while. Some of their group played Warcraft, and so I decided to give it a shot as I was studying from home, and thought a “time sink” game would be good for me. As I, “had the time”, to put into it. So the group played alliance, lol. After about six months, I decided to test out the opposite faction and fell in love with Orgimmar :3. Of course I’m an edgelord, my favourite colour is red, I was bound to like the faction. Anyway, later of course, other people from my extended social circle (as i started posting screenshots on social media) were in uproar about me being a scummy alliance, lol. I never imposed and asked my brother what he had played, but at xmas a few years later it came up and he told me he was horde. Made me laugh. So… I started at the end of WoD, then played through legion, and quit a bit into BFA. So i played about 4 years I guess. I played a lot, whether that is good or bad. At the height I was playing it all-day-every-day as studying was passive and on the side from home. But continuing on….

From then on I have further branched into gaming, and built my own PC (three times now, upgrading it bit by bit, three total new shells is what I mean and mostly totally new parts).

Style of Game

So far (just some examples);

Games I have liked

Bear With Me, Beyond Good and Evil, Dead Space, Half-Life 1, Life is Strange (particularly Before The Storm), Ori and the Blind Forest, the Penumbra Series (particularly Requiem), Soma, and The Cat Lady.

Games I haven’t Liked

Bioshock, Deponia, Conarium, Limbo, South Park Stick of Truth, and Sumeru.

Conclusion in my “style of game” so far

I don’t really like hardcore puzzle games. A little bit of puzzle is fine, but hardcore puzzles are not my thing in games. This is because I am extremely logical, I think. I try and think inside the square to the smallest details, and in games like Deponia the answer is WAAAAYYYY outside of it, lol. I’m more like a detective, I have to make logical assumptions then try all the hypothesis.

I don’t like games “just” for their genre. Limbo, Bioshock, and Conarium, were games I thought I would like because I like noir and psychological thriller as a genre. I liked the art style, and the general theme of their lore. But I reason that this will not “save’ a game, if there are other facets I dislike.

What I learnt from games like Sumeru and South Park Stick of Truth is that… likeness to something outside of a game does not =/= a good game. Sumeru noted it was based on Sumerian culture, I of course, pedistooled it and pictured it totally different. It had about 0 sumerian lore in it, lol. South Park, whilst I love the franchise irl, was definitly not the kind of game for me. It was playable, but I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it. Not made for me, yeah.

Main games

My main games so far have been; World of Warcraft, Warframe and Final Fantasy 14 Online (FFXIV).

In warcraft, my main classes (though I had them all) were;

  • Guardian Druid (tanking, I liked being a bear),
  • Feral Druid. I liked utility playstyle, dots and availability for stealth. Mostly pvp’d as feral, I am built for “speed running” things, like I have high environmental awareness, can pre-think other players and avoid things. Can capture all 3 flags without being seen, just managing the playfield kind of thing. Knowing the right time for avoidance and such. I am great at avoiding people irl also actually when I want to. Had a Canadian friend who called me Shadow once likely for noticing the same features that I note in myself of just kinda dissapearing sometimes. I’m there, then not, then poof I’m standing right next to you suddenly. You must be either extremely obsessive, or extremely observant to keep tabs on me. So I liked popping out of feral, casting something from resto affinity and topping everyone up then going back to “seriously pissing off the enemy healers”. I like putting on heat and being annoying. I love interrupting :3.
  • Elemental Shaman. I liked the dot and burst playstyle, its somewhat similar to what I’ve found with Thaumaturge in FFXIV so far, the “flame shock + lava burst” playstyle (Black Mage/Thaumaturge is very warlocky with its Life Tap too ofc, its still a magic caster mage thing but yea anyway). I like the building and spending of Earth Shock and I like lightning :). Similar to Guardian druid, and warrior, and shaman there is that I like “builders and spenders” rather than “spenders” playstyle. Ie, I struggle with classes that just have mana management. I am better with a class that “builds” resources. Maelstrom for ele fit that for me. I of course loved the aesthetics also. I never really meshed well with healing somewhat due to that, and had quite a fondness for male healers over the years due to being able to do something I tried to avoid doing as a main role.

In Warframe, my main classes are;

  • Nezha. He is a speed tank, nice shield, you put a dot on the floor which gives a momentary CC to mobs, he is fast as fuck and hard to kill.
  • Saryn. She’s like an unholy death knight spore playstyle, high output AoE class. At the current state of the game, she is the top S rank class just due to her natural qualities being optiminal for the game in the current state. Ie, she does massive AoE and the game is focused on horde AoE right now.
  • Volt. I carried on my elemental shaman playstyle when I switched over from Warcraft to Warframe and chose him as my starting toon. Volt and Nezha are quite similar in terms of being speed based. Though Nezha being a tank and Volt being a spin-to-win edgelord but somewhat squishy.
  • Hydroid. I like hentai heaven, tenticle buddy, also augments for purges and offheals, my farming boi.
  • Ember. With her rebuild, she is my fire bae. She has a similar playstyle to Volt, but can also do massive burst dps whereas Volt brings a lot of group utility instead (which is why he is used in world boss meta groups).
  • Oberon. I actually quite like oberon. Healer. Has a dot / hot playstyle.
  • Nekros is nice. I play him quite a bit as my farming boy, as do most people.
  • Nyx. I really quite like her actually. I wish she was more viable because she is fun and hot as fuck in her deluxe skin.
  • Trying to learn: Nova, Inaros, and Mag.

In FFXIV, I have just started;

  • I chose a Thaumaturge (black mage), even though I never really got a good connection with mage in WoW, but liked warlock so… will see how Red Mage goes also.
  • I also suppose I’ll like Summoner (from what I’ve played of it so far and from what I’ve read and seen) as they are pretty much a Shaman. Probably like dancer too when it comes out.
  • Hopefully also Rogue (ninja) will sit well with me in this game, I felt in warcraft the community was a bit too heavy handed for it so stuck with feral in pvp. Ie, rogue was a good dps #original class in the start of the game, and its roots go pretty heavily with how the playerbase feels about them. Ie, its a competitive raid slot. But deep down, rogue is my love in a variety of games :).
  • Not sure which tank I will go in this game. Whether warrior, paladin, dark knight or gunbreaker. No idea.
  • This game is different in warcraft in the respect that you can be all the classes on your main. You have 1 character (you can buy a higher account, to have more slots if you really want but you don’t have to), and you can have all classes on that character.
Genre of Game / Films / Series

In summary; Psychological Horror / Psychological Thrillers.

Ie, things that make you fucking think. And are a little fucked up. Ie, think; detective and crime shows, batman noir themes, edgelord stuff, plot twists, femme fatales (girls that are edgy and might stab you), etc.

“Psychological horror usually aims to create discomfort or dread by exposing common or universal psychological and emotional vulnerabilities/fears and revealing the darker parts of the human psyche that most people may repress or deny. This idea is referred to in analytical psychology as the archetypal shadow characteristics: suspicion, distrust, self-doubt, and paranoia of others, themselves, and the world.”

Steam game listing examples.

There are lots of games like Bear with Me, that look cute and etc, but really fuck with your head; this is an example of a psychological game.

Psych games are not, “jump scare” games, though they both share common themes. Psych horrors usually have indepth stories, a jump scare does not have to as its aim to destabilise you is through fear. A psychological game is through your own mental thinking, that unnerves you. That shit is “spooky” rather than scary, ie, it gives you nightmares. Whereas a jump scare will just give you a shock. Both are fine but I tend to conquer the “jump scare” by just never relaxing and assuming something is always going to be there. Whereas a psych horror, if your paying attention, will get so deep in your mind it might send u crazy :P. I like that, its a challenge for me.

So themes that present in games that fit this overall category:

  • “Deep” storyline.
  • Deviant characters. In the mainstream, people might call them “bad people”, though of course thats a dog vs cat comparison and useless. Ie, I am a deviant person, on a lot of issues.
  • Gameplay that isnt horribly boring, has a upward climb of understanding as I develop as a player, but is also explained well. Ie, depthful tooltips are a big deal for me in some games. I like “getting better” at things, so like when a game can provide me with steps to climb.
  • “A little edgelord goes a long way,” may be a good summary phrase to describe my entertainment. I wont not pick it up if it isn’t dark and mysterious, but even a tad will make me cross that line and buy it. Example, “we are the heroes of good, looking to purge the world of darkness” verses “dark and light are both required, you are always someones devil and someones angel“. I dislike being painted as “too angelic” as I prefer to wander the path, “tinkering between self destruction and normality”. Lest life get too boring obviously. Super easy to be an angel… I prefer to do the hard line :P.

So thats my ‘Siren gaming’ discussion. Enjoy :).

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